How do you actually handle people’s opinions about you?

An opinion is a belief,thought, vague idea or a judgement about something which is not necessarily based on facts or knowledge.We say that everyone’s opinion is valid but still there are people who are too opinionated. They think their view is right and that it is a must for them to comment about everything and anything. Mostly,such people are often wrong or say negative things and things they should have just kept quiet about.

People say their opinions for different reasons 1. They think they can help or can give advice that will make your life better. 2. To feel like they are superior because they have more knowledge. Our close friends can point out on how we are dressed,how our haircuts/hairstyles look like. They will both compliment and critique how we look. Friends tend to look out for us so that we don’t go out in public looking funny and end up embarrassing ourselves. However,there are certain characters who never point out any good thing about you. I know there’s a person who just popped in your thoughts after you’ve read that statement. This person doesn’t ever shut up about the things that are negative and where everything appears to be perfect,they’ll choose to mention that little insignificant wrong thing.

How do you actually deal with such kind of a person? Well,one thing is that we all handle people’s opinions differently depending on our self esteem. There are individuals who are affected to an extent that they feel intimidated and actually revert to hating themselves. As someone who loves themselves,you shouldn’t take everything to heart. Some people out here actually have no sense of direction and no purpose. They now reflect their insecurities and failures on others by making mocking remarks and criticism so as to feel like they are relevant. If you let their remarks affect you then they feel they have won and they’ll get some type of satisfaction. Others feel uncomfortable coz of how great you are,your potential,your popularity,your excellent relationship with those around you and everything you are made of. They now want to tear you down through insults and demotivating comments. These are the people who will talk ill about you to others and behind your back just to try and dim your light or make you appear less appealing to others. You should just let such people be coz you are way better than them and they are not used to such greatness. There is a saying that dogs bark at people and things that are strange to them, in the same way your ilk is not an everyday thing to some people.

Your reaction is not needed in everything that will be said to you or done to you. For example, On social media there’s alot of criticism and you find the individuals being critiqued are well established in their careers and have a lavish lifestyle yet there are people saying lots of bad things to/about them. At times I read the comments people write on people’s posts and I feel outraged. There are comments that can even lead someone to commiting suicide. But do you see our celebrities taking their lives simply because there are people insulting them and even their families at large? No. Learn not to respond to negative comments. The ones making such comments want to see you make a fool out of yourself by responding to them,feeling sorry for yourself,hating how you look and everything that’s related to you. Remember that their opinions can’t have an actual effect on how you look or on the things you’ve accomplished. Nothing will change. You can be perfectly fine but you won’t lack that person who is there to always tear you down. It can even be the person you call best friend. There are friends who want you to live behind their shadows. They want to be seen like they are doing better than you hence they’ll tell you some things pretending to be correcting you yet they are killing your star and self-confidence.

This post is long already however,there are things I’ve not said yet. My next post will be a continuation of this. Thanks for reading through my article. Let me know your thoughts.

Self-Love Check-In: 4 Powerful Questions to Transform Your Confidence

Hey my lovely people. I’m here again with some more content on self love. I would like this to be like a conversation between me and you;give me feedback and share your thoughts in the different things I’ll talk about. You should be comfortable and free in this space,be you. In my previous post I had listed a number of questions for you to gauge your affection towards you/the person beneath your skin. In this piece I will handle a few of the questions and give the possible responses.

1. Do I compare myself to others? It is not entirely wrong to compare yourself to your colleagues,what matters is how that comparison affects you and how often you do it and in what occasions. For someone who loves themselves,the answer can be No or Yes I do compare myself at times just to check how I am doing. People say that comparison is a killer of joy. The only comparison I expect you to do is the one that challenges you to work smarter/harder in order to achieve the things you wish for yourself. It should be about the things you can work on as a person to be at a better place. Do not bring yourself down just coz someone is doing better than you,we aren’t running the same race and we don’t actually want the same things in life. The sun and the moon are worlds apart,they all shine differently but are very unique and beautiful in their own ways. You shine brightest when you are just you✨. Also,don’t forget that social media is plastic. People post the best of their experiences and the perfect pictures. Nobody posts their failure and the days they look like a mess. You are only made to see what the person posting wants you to see.

2. Do I care alot about people’s opinions especially about my physique? Maybe your answer is no I don’t care alot about people’s opinions or yes sometimes I do care. One thing you should know is that people will always talk. We have two ears and one mouth coz we are meant to listen more and talk less yet human beings are fond of the complete opposite. You can have the best personality and the most streamlined body but people will still talk. Listen here,I know you have insecurities. This is very normal,I also have insecurities about my body. Should I let you in a little secret? EVERYONE HAS INSECURITIES. We aren’t perfect and we aren’t meant to be perfect. We are humans and humans are beautiful through their different imperfections. What should matter is how you think about your body. Dress yourself in clothes that make you feel good about your features and it will elevate your mood and self image.

3. Do I seek for people’s recognition in my day to day activities? Your answer should be no or at times. Why feel the need for people’s validation? Seeking people’s recognition means you are living in your head,you aren’t honest with yourself,not genuinely happy. When you are doing the things that matter to you and feel satisfied at a personal level it doesn’t matter whether someone says you are doing good or not. Yes sometimes you’ll feel bad when people don’t comment that you are doing great but, you should be your own fan. Appreciate your small and big wins and be happy with the things you are doing. Celebrate you if there’s no one to congratulate and celebrate you. Give yourself the things you seek from the ones around you.

4. Do I choose myself over the people I love when I need to? My answer is yes. Well,people may term this as selfish when you put your needs before others but you are the one to decide when you need to choose you over everyone else. You need time to be alone and work on yourself. It is not your responsibility to always take care of the ones you love. Sure,you should be there when they need you but you should also be there for you when you need you. You shouldn’t overstretch just coz you want to show someone that you care. Choosing you means you know what makes you happy,what makes you uncomfortable,what makes you feel you are not appreciated,and you are aware of when you need a break.

Let me know the various ways you answered the above questions and your possible explanations. I will write more on the remaining questions.

Thank you for reading through this article.

Self Love

This is a very interesting and broad topic. Love is something that all human beings crave. Everyone is always busy trying to get love from others and also trying to show that they love the people they care for. We must therefore ask ourselves what love is. Love is actually one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is an intense feeling of affection,warmth,adoration or fondness for someone/something.There are different types of love depending on the relationship between people.

I will major on self love. Self is the identity of any person or thing. Therefore,self love is the care/affection that one accords to himself or herself. People assume that they give themselves self love just because that is the person they live beneath. But the truth is that many people do not accord themselves the amount of affection they struggle to give to others. How can one know that they really know how to show love to themselves? Ask yourself the following questions :

1. Do I constantly compare myself to others?

2. Do I care so much about people’s opinions about me especially my physique?

3. Do I need people’s recognition in my day to day activities?

4. Do I choose myself over the people I care for when I really need to?

5. Do I say no to my friends when their plans inconvenience me?

6. Do I compliment myself often?

7. Do I feel confident?

For someone who loves themselves enough,they are able to answer the above questions without hesitation. Darling,you deserve to love yourself without limits and unconditionally. You should be able to take care of yourself the same way you strive to take care of those around you.

Thank you for reading through this. You can tell me the things you would like to hear about and ways I can improve this page for you.

By Ambitious Val