Uncategorized – Self Awareness

WHO SET UP MY MOODS/EMOTIONS ON SHUFFLE

How do I jump from one intense emotion onto another completely different emotion?

I often find myself in awe of people who effortlessly maintain a balance between their emotions. Personally, I live at the extremes: when I am happy, I am euphoric. My excitement is so intense that it feels as though my heart might leap out of my chest. But when sadness strikes, it hits like a tidal wave, leaving me longing for an escape from this world.

Emotions are a curious thing. One moment, I might be revelling in the sheer joy of life, thinking, “Wow, everything is perfect.” But in the next moment, a shadow of depression can descend, making everything seem bleak and hopeless. This stark contrast in my emotional landscape raises profound questions: What is it about feelings and emotions that can cause such drastic shifts? How can one achieve their goals, fulfill their dreams, and still be haunted by a deep sense of emptiness and disorientation?

I envy those who seem to have it all together. They navigate their emotions with a steady hand, never veering too far into the extremes. In contrast, when paranoia grips me, it takes over completely, flooding my mind with an overwhelming fear that things will unravel and that I am merely an imposter in the various spaces I occupy in life. This fear often paralyses me, making it incredibly challenging to take even a single step forward.

The paradox of achieving success yet feeling lost is a complex one. It underscores the notion that external accomplishments do not always translate to internal fulfillment. For me, the journey of self-awareness involves acknowledging these emotional extremes and understanding that they are part of who I am. It means striving to find a balance, not by suppressing my feelings, but by learning to navigate them with greater awareness and compassion.

I aspire to achieve an emotional equilibrium. To those who, like me, experience the highs and lows with such intensity, know that you are not alone. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for your emotions and help you understand your triggers. Reflecting on your entries can offer insights into your emotional patterns and how to manage them better. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to experience a wide range of emotions and that you are not alone in this struggle. Jolt down even the smallest wins and celebrate them. Also, maintain a grateful attitude.

By Ambitious Val 📝

True Power Lies in Calculating The Future Consequences of Our Actions, Words and Decisions.

In our daily lives, we interact with countless individuals, each with their own unique thoughts, emotions, and experiences. As social beings, our actions, decisions, and words have a profound impact on those around us, often shaping their reactions and influencing the course of our relationships. It is essential for us to cultivate self-awareness and recognize the significance of our behavior in order to build meaningful connections and foster positive interactions with others. By taking responsibility for our actions and considering the consequences they may have on others, we can create a more compassionate and harmonious world.Every action we take, whether consciously or unconsciously, has the potential to affect others. Our words can either uplift or deflate, inspire or discourage, and our decisions can shape the lives of others. It is crucial to recognize that people respond to our actions based on their own emotions, experiences, and perspectives. By being mindful of this, we can navigate our interactions with greater sensitivity and empathy.

Self-awareness encompasses not only recognizing the influence of our actions but also taking accountability for the outcomes they generate. We must acknowledge that we play a significant role in provoking certain reactions from others. This doesn’t mean we are solely responsible for how others choose to respond, but it does mean that we need to take responsibility for the part we played in the situation.

By developing empathy, we can begin to understand how our actions may impact others emotionally. Taking the time to consider the potential consequences of our words and actions demonstrates a deep respect for others and their experiences.
Take time to reflect on recent conversations or conflicts and consider your role in those situations. Ask yourself if your words or actions could have contributed to a negative outcome. Be mindful, pause and evaluate: Before responding impulsively, pause and consider the potential impact of your words or actions. Taking a moment to evaluate the consequences can help you make more considerate choices.

Self-awareness is a powerful tool for personal growth and building healthier relationships. We can make more conscious decisions that contribute to positive outcomes. Taking accountability for the situations we may have worsened and accepting our part in provoking negative reactions allows us to grow and learn from our experiences. Let us strive to be more mindful of our actions and words, fostering an environment of empathy, understanding, and respect for one another.

By Ambitious Val

It is okay to not be okay!

I had this tendency of always being strong and taking blows as they come. All my life the people around me have been praising how strong of a lady I am and they admire that. It led me to thinking that I shouldn’t show it when I am not okay. I didn’t let things get into me no matter how hurt and broken I should have seemed physically.

Recently,I realized that there is power in being vulnerable. Acknowledging that we aren’t doing fine and allowing ourselves to feel the different range of emotions,just soaking in them. It has allowed me to unload the heavy weights on my shoulders and in my heart. Nobody stated that being vulnerable is about talking and crying to people. You can let that soft part of yourself out when in your room alone or just write your problems down in a book.

Who said men aren’t allowed to feel? If they can love,hate,be happy,angry,anxious, excited and all: why aren’t they allowed to hurt? Men too are human and they feel everything that females feel with that same intensity if not more. We have been brainwashed and misled for years to believe that men are strong,they don’t have feelings,they aren’t allowed to cry. Are they rocks? Even animals cry and they aren’t well familiar with the words emotions and feelings.

Well,as someone who has been acting like *a man* even though I’m a lady,I’m here to tell all of you it’s okay to let yourself be vulnerable and let out your feelings. Admit them to yourself and maybe to someone you trust. You’ll be relieved of alot of pain/rage that you aren’t even aware is bottled up in you. Feel your feelings!

By Ambitious Val

Who is your 911 when you are falling apart?

This year,2022 I’ve seen people posting on various social media platforms how 2022 had been a year full of challenges. In this era alot of youths are also struggling with mental health issues. We are huge fans of memes and we share them 24/7. Some people post memes for fun but others are actually trying to communicate what they are going through/what they are feeling through memes yet we take everything at face value.

Who do you talk to when you feel like you are losing your mind? Who calms your nerves and brings you back to sanity? What do you do to avoid suicidal thoughts or self harm? Who holds your hand and understands your tears and the words that can’t even come out your mouth? Who is your safe space? Who makes you feel alive again? Who replenishes your energy when you are at the verge of quitting? Who gives you a new lease of life?

As an adult,it is quite hard to have that one person who can offer all the above since everyone has their own struggles and life kind of separates you from people who you thought would be part of your life forever. Adult friendships require mutual efforts and good communication beacause everyone is busy trying to build their life or building their families. I have come to learn that our parents can actually be our refuge when the world becomes sour to us. Being a parent never stops,it’s a full time job till the day one will leave this world. We detach ourselves and keep secrets from our mums and dads yet they can understand what we are going through and they are in a position to comfort us. It is weird yet it is a huge problem solver. But we can’t share everything with our parents,it is important to have atleast one person who you can rant to when you need to let your thoughts out. Again,not everyone is to be trusted. Make sure you confide in people who won’t come to shame you afterwards.

Don’t suffer alone and don’t think that your problems or whatever you are going through is lame. At times you can just talk to a stranger,someone who you’ll never meet in life again and a huge load will be lifted off your shoulders and you won’t have a heavy heart. In this generation,a huge number of people are depressed but hide it under brilliant and beautiful smiles. Just be nice when you can,we are all fighting things that not many can comprehend.

By Ambitious Val

THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE ME

When I was a kid I looked forward to becoming an adult. Right now that I am one, I keep wishing that I’d go back to being a baby. Babies don’t give a care about what’s going on around them as long as they are well fed, watch tv, and have a few toys and friends to play with. Have you ever wondered why babies have the most friends? Babies don’t discriminate based on diversity. The more one grows, the more disconnected one becomes from friends and old habits. Age comes with distance from friends and it is until you are relevant to someone that you’ll remain close with them. What do I mean by being relevant? What draws you to those people you’ve been friends with over many years? You got to have similar interests, common habits, or talents. As an adult, you find yourself talking to people who you meet often as you do a common thing and you stay connected. You are drawn to those who help and support you in your daily struggles.

I can say that I have experienced self-growth in major ways over the years. I have had different passions/likes and in each stage of life I have gone up the ladder in terms of the things I intend to achieve, the things I’ve accomplished, and also the people I’ve interacted with. Each step of the way I’ve had people who are close to me and with whom we share(d) lots in common. I can’t pinpoint and say that this is my best friend and these others are just friends. Different people serve different purposes in my life and everyone is unique to me.

I am at a point in life where I have come to terms with the fact that people change, things change, and that it is okay to let go of things that no longer serve me. I have lost friends, gained new ones, and outgrown the things that used to excite me. Adulthood is a series of doubting yourself, then thinking you have everything figured out, you feel you’ve moved a few steps forward only to later feel you are stuck. Every day you are at war with yourself, debating your beliefs, values, purpose, and significance in life.

At times the things that hold us back are toxic friendships/relationships and certain behaviors that we well know don’t add to our value. Holding on can be because that is what brings us false fulfillment or we feel good when people know we are associated with certain people/groups of friends. I think the past few years have taught me that friends aren’t permanent and it is okay to cut strings when those friendships bring nothing to the table. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel at ease/happy/fulfilled or do you feel drained, frustrated, or lost? Our bodies know how to detect energies and energies never lie. Let loose the people who bring chaos into your life. Do away with beliefs and practices that aren’t helpful. Do not seek validation or acceptance. True power comes in when you are the boss of your life and trashing the things that no longer serve us regardless of how hard or painful it is. Focus on the bigger picture.

By Ambitious Val.

There is a thin line between self love and being selfish

There are people who interpret selfish as self love and vice versa. We need to understand what being selfish is and how it looks like. Selfish is lacking consideration for other people. It is concentrating on one’s advantage,pleasure and one’s own welfare in disregard of others. A selfish individual will do just anything to get what they want and they tend to use manipulation to get to where they want. One can also be termed as stingy and self centered. They want everything for themselves and don’t actually put other people’s needs,feelings and emotions into consideration. Most times,a selfish person makes themselves happy at the expense of other people’s happiness.

On the other hand,self love is a state of appreciation for oneself. It is taking care of your own needs and not always sacrificing your well being to please others. Self Love means not settling for less than you deserve,you prioritize yourself,take a break when you need to, trusting yourself,being true to you, talking to yourself nicely and forgiving yourself when you have made mistakes.

Self Love doesn’t mean being rude and doing whatever you like without thinking of how your actions will affect the people around you. It isn’t being obsessed with oneself and forgetting that other people exist. It is simply taking care of yourself,doing the things you enjoy doing,grooming nicely,believing in your abilities and appreciating who you are and what you are made of. It is after you have fallen fully in love with the soul under your skin that you can truly spread and give love to others. Self care means that you have fed your soul and mind to an extent that you can now pour into other people’s cups.

It is easy for us to make selfish decisions especially when the opportunity favours us and elevates us to a high level. There’s nobody who has not acted selfish at some point. For example,I have two brothers,our first born is older than me by two years so basically we grew up together. I would screw up or make mistakes and then pin it on my brother. He used to get beatings that were not meant for him simply because I chose to be selfish. For instance,there’s a day I lost sh 2000 that mum had given me to do shopping. I was so tensed coz I knew my mum would beat me for losing that amount. My brother had a habit of taking small small cash and he used to be caned alot. So that day I waited for mum to come home and told her that my brother is the one who took the 2K. My big brother couldn’t prove himself innocent as we all knew that he used to take mum’s money. It made me feel so guilty because my selfish action made him suffer some thorough punishment. I protected myself through sacrificing him. I did not consider his feelings/emotions.

Sometimes we can make decisions without involving our friends/family/partners yet whatever we decide on will affect them in one way or another. Let’s say you’ve always had a dream to study in another country. So one day an opportunity presents itself and you are offered a scholarship to go and study in that other country. Ofcourse you’ll be so excited and fill out the forms without thinking twice. How do you think your family/friends and partner will feel about it? Ofcourse they will be happy for you that finally your dream has come true. But will that be all? They will feel irrelevant to you. It’s like their opinions don’t matter to you. You don’t care about how they’ll be affected when you move to that other country. That is a very selfish action. A considerate person will first of all talk to their partners and let them know that they have been given the opportunity to school in a different country. There should be atleast a conversation before filling the forms. That way you can discuss on the pros and cons of you moving to that other country,how your relationship will be affected and the things you can do in order to stay connected. Your partner will feel valued and appreciated when you engage them before making huge decisions.

Thank you for reading through this piece. Let me know your thoughts.