Tag Archives: AmbitiousVal

PERSONALITY

There are thousands of ways to describe personality. As much as people can learn, evolve and change in diverse areas of life, their personalities remain the same. Knowing one’s personality is a an enormous step towards being self-aware. It explains why we are the way we are, and why we associate with different groups and find pleasure in certain activities.

Personality, is a characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It embraces moods, attitudes, and opinions and is most clearly expressed in interactions with other people. It includes behavioral characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish one person from another and that can be observed in people’s relations to the environment and the social group. (https://www.britannica.com/topic/personality/Psychoanalytic-theories)

When asked the question `who are you?’, most people tend to list their academic and professional prowess forgetting to unmask the person deep within. For example, I’d answer the question by saying, my name, age, academic level, and my position in our family: `my name is Valentine, I am a 12-year-old girl who studies at St Paul primary school. I am the middle child in our family.’ This response doesn’t portray anything about who I am. Yes, it is integral to incorporate our family, educational background our various attainments when doing an introduction of ourselves but we shouldn’t dwell on that and turn a blind eye to our inner being: our beliefs and values.

Personality is majorly described through adjectives such as caring, sensitive, outgoing, spiritual, energetic, calm, quiet, rude, bold, short-tempered, etc. It has nothing to do with one’s appearance/body physique. It is 100% about the things that are not tangible about someone. During a job interview, when the interviewers ask you to say more about yourself, they want to know about your talents/hobbies and personal attributes. It is not the time to say the things you’ve written in your CV. Having said that, let me re-introduce myself. My name is Valentine, I am bold, enterprising, confident, enthusiastic, and very outgoing. I have a calm presence that makes people view me as friendly and easy to talk to. I am dependable and always willing to learn. I have good problem-solving skills which make me want to be part of the team coming up with solutions. I find pleasure in reading books, listening to music, and dancing and I’m a talented actress. I believe that self-love is the first step to living life fully for you. I accept and respect people’s points of view and differences. There’s so much more to a person than meets the eye.

By Ambitious Val.

Who is your 911 when you are falling apart?

This year,2022 I’ve seen people posting on various social media platforms how 2022 had been a year full of challenges. In this era alot of youths are also struggling with mental health issues. We are huge fans of memes and we share them 24/7. Some people post memes for fun but others are actually trying to communicate what they are going through/what they are feeling through memes yet we take everything at face value.

Who do you talk to when you feel like you are losing your mind? Who calms your nerves and brings you back to sanity? What do you do to avoid suicidal thoughts or self harm? Who holds your hand and understands your tears and the words that can’t even come out your mouth? Who is your safe space? Who makes you feel alive again? Who replenishes your energy when you are at the verge of quitting? Who gives you a new lease of life?

As an adult,it is quite hard to have that one person who can offer all the above since everyone has their own struggles and life kind of separates you from people who you thought would be part of your life forever. Adult friendships require mutual efforts and good communication beacause everyone is busy trying to build their life or building their families. I have come to learn that our parents can actually be our refuge when the world becomes sour to us. Being a parent never stops,it’s a full time job till the day one will leave this world. We detach ourselves and keep secrets from our mums and dads yet they can understand what we are going through and they are in a position to comfort us. It is weird yet it is a huge problem solver. But we can’t share everything with our parents,it is important to have atleast one person who you can rant to when you need to let your thoughts out. Again,not everyone is to be trusted. Make sure you confide in people who won’t come to shame you afterwards.

Don’t suffer alone and don’t think that your problems or whatever you are going through is lame. At times you can just talk to a stranger,someone who you’ll never meet in life again and a huge load will be lifted off your shoulders and you won’t have a heavy heart. In this generation,a huge number of people are depressed but hide it under brilliant and beautiful smiles. Just be nice when you can,we are all fighting things that not many can comprehend.

By Ambitious Val

Why don’t we see the greatness in us?

It has come to my realization that most of us are clouded by our failure in the past and don’t see the greatness we’ve achieved and how blessed we are. It takes a third eye to see how wonderful and able we are. We are too hard on ourselves and don’t celebrate our wins the way we should just coz we feel we haven’t really accomplished the level of success we desire.

It is easy to be carried away by the big things we wish to achieve in future and turn a blind eye to what we already have. We have to live in the present and appreciate the big and small milestones we’ve covered as we look forward to the mountains of success we wish to attain. Gratitude comes a long way with bringing some kind of contentment in our hearts. Having a grateful attitude will help us eliminate the feeling of emptiness that at times overcomes us. It opens our eyes to how far we’ve come,the blessings we have,how wonderful we are. At times it’s good to hear the opinions people have about us,the way they perceive us. You’ll be shocked to know how much value people place in you and how you carry yourself.

I have recently been experiencing imposter syndrome. This is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be or feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience and previous accomplishments (meaning derived from http://www.healthline.com). I have had questions like,what am I doing where I am? Do I really belong? Do I really have the necessary qualifications for the various fields I’m involved in? Am I deserving of the titles given to me and tasks assigned? Even in my personal initiatives for example my blog. Just thinking whether my content is really good/ helpful and do people appreciate it.

This syndrome is a serious pandemic as it hinders us from achieving our full potential. It is a mental journey that we should devote out energy into overcoming as it belittles us and elevates the fear of failure which in turn makes us remain stagnant. Writing down positive things about ourselves,big achievements,small successes and the things we are good at can be a good start. Just refocus your thoughts to the most amazing parts of yourself,what you pride in and your strengths. You should reconnect with that little self inside and see the star that has been dimmed. How do you define your success? I understand that success means different things to different people. Don’t let other’s definition of success make you feel like you aren’t doing alright. Success should be personalized and you are the one to asess whether you’ve gotten to where you want and if not,what steps should you take to get there.

You are a phenomenal and you should be stronger than that small voice in your head that whimpers negativity. Believe in yourself and be a guru in your own life be it professionally, academically, socially and all other fields.

By Ambitious Val. Be exceptional!

We learn new things about ourselves from time to time if not everyday.

Each day presents a new chance for us to learn. We also get opportunities to pick between different choices that lead us to different situations. There are things we do that leave us questioning our personality,likes,strengths,values,interests and passions. This is because nobody has fully discovered themselves and a new day brings new things: we get to unlock a hidden part of ourselves. It actually explains why one day we wake up fully unconcerned and uninterested in things that used to excite us.

We all have certain titles,hobbies,talents,careers and abilities we want to be associated with. However,it disadvantages us such that we don’t want to try out stuffs and get out of our comfort zone. I have a friend who when asked who he is answers, *I never want to define/describe myself with titles as that could limit me to being one person. I feel I have different personalities and I am many things.* As insane as it sounds I totally agree with him,he is definitely many things and can be different people depending on the occasion. Describing ourselves using titles restricts us to being that one person.

In different careers,there are standard expected achievements,behaviour,lifestyle and even fashion for those associated with that particular field. Once someone says they are a doctor,we see them differently and accord them some level of respect because of the magnitude of their academic achievements and also accomplishments in life. We wouldn’t expect to see a doctor out in the club having fun and dancing like a lunatic. People have stereotypes on how teachers,lawyers,doctors,pilots,engineers and all other people have to live their lives. This in turn affects individuals and make them suppress some part of themselves to fit into the demands of the world. Similarly, we find ourselves doing things that aren’t associated with the titles/talents/activities we want to be known by or things that aren’t in line with how we view ourselves. I am not talking about things that aren’t morally right or those that go against our values.

Throughout my life I was like,I can never be a model. I didn’t even comprehend why people had fashion shows and the Mr/Miss competitions. I had an odd walking style,tom-boyish not even in my wildest dreams could I ever dream that I’d walk on a runway. I have been well known for being a great dancer all my life. That title has been my brand for the longest time. Guess what,I became a model in first year and I fell in love with the run way. My talent for dance was overshadowed and very few people in campus knew that I am a talented dancer. We develop new habits and interests along the way. Just coz you had said you can never do something it shouldn’t hinder you from trying. Titles shouldn’t limit us to one way of thinking and one way of doing things/living. Dare to do what your heart desires so long as you don’t go out of your values and morals.

By Ambitious Val