GrowthMindset – Self Awareness

THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE ME

When I was a kid I looked forward to becoming an adult. Right now that I am one, I keep wishing that I’d go back to being a baby. Babies don’t give a care about what’s going on around them as long as they are well fed, watch tv, and have a few toys and friends to play with. Have you ever wondered why babies have the most friends? Babies don’t discriminate based on diversity. The more one grows, the more disconnected one becomes from friends and old habits. Age comes with distance from friends and it is until you are relevant to someone that you’ll remain close with them. What do I mean by being relevant? What draws you to those people you’ve been friends with over many years? You got to have similar interests, common habits, or talents. As an adult, you find yourself talking to people who you meet often as you do a common thing and you stay connected. You are drawn to those who help and support you in your daily struggles.

I can say that I have experienced self-growth in major ways over the years. I have had different passions/likes and in each stage of life I have gone up the ladder in terms of the things I intend to achieve, the things I’ve accomplished, and also the people I’ve interacted with. Each step of the way I’ve had people who are close to me and with whom we share(d) lots in common. I can’t pinpoint and say that this is my best friend and these others are just friends. Different people serve different purposes in my life and everyone is unique to me.

I am at a point in life where I have come to terms with the fact that people change, things change, and that it is okay to let go of things that no longer serve me. I have lost friends, gained new ones, and outgrown the things that used to excite me. Adulthood is a series of doubting yourself, then thinking you have everything figured out, you feel you’ve moved a few steps forward only to later feel you are stuck. Every day you are at war with yourself, debating your beliefs, values, purpose, and significance in life.

At times the things that hold us back are toxic friendships/relationships and certain behaviors that we well know don’t add to our value. Holding on can be because that is what brings us false fulfillment or we feel good when people know we are associated with certain people/groups of friends. I think the past few years have taught me that friends aren’t permanent and it is okay to cut strings when those friendships bring nothing to the table. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel at ease/happy/fulfilled or do you feel drained, frustrated, or lost? Our bodies know how to detect energies and energies never lie. Let loose the people who bring chaos into your life. Do away with beliefs and practices that aren’t helpful. Do not seek validation or acceptance. True power comes in when you are the boss of your life and trashing the things that no longer serve us regardless of how hard or painful it is. Focus on the bigger picture.

By Ambitious Val.

We learn new things about ourselves from time to time if not everyday.

Each day presents a new chance for us to learn. We also get opportunities to pick between different choices that lead us to different situations. There are things we do that leave us questioning our personality,likes,strengths,values,interests and passions. This is because nobody has fully discovered themselves and a new day brings new things: we get to unlock a hidden part of ourselves. It actually explains why one day we wake up fully unconcerned and uninterested in things that used to excite us.

We all have certain titles,hobbies,talents,careers and abilities we want to be associated with. However,it disadvantages us such that we don’t want to try out stuffs and get out of our comfort zone. I have a friend who when asked who he is answers, *I never want to define/describe myself with titles as that could limit me to being one person. I feel I have different personalities and I am many things.* As insane as it sounds I totally agree with him,he is definitely many things and can be different people depending on the occasion. Describing ourselves using titles restricts us to being that one person.

In different careers,there are standard expected achievements,behaviour,lifestyle and even fashion for those associated with that particular field. Once someone says they are a doctor,we see them differently and accord them some level of respect because of the magnitude of their academic achievements and also accomplishments in life. We wouldn’t expect to see a doctor out in the club having fun and dancing like a lunatic. People have stereotypes on how teachers,lawyers,doctors,pilots,engineers and all other people have to live their lives. This in turn affects individuals and make them suppress some part of themselves to fit into the demands of the world. Similarly, we find ourselves doing things that aren’t associated with the titles/talents/activities we want to be known by or things that aren’t in line with how we view ourselves. I am not talking about things that aren’t morally right or those that go against our values.

Throughout my life I was like,I can never be a model. I didn’t even comprehend why people had fashion shows and the Mr/Miss competitions. I had an odd walking style,tom-boyish not even in my wildest dreams could I ever dream that I’d walk on a runway. I have been well known for being a great dancer all my life. That title has been my brand for the longest time. Guess what,I became a model in first year and I fell in love with the run way. My talent for dance was overshadowed and very few people in campus knew that I am a talented dancer. We develop new habits and interests along the way. Just coz you had said you can never do something it shouldn’t hinder you from trying. Titles shouldn’t limit us to one way of thinking and one way of doing things/living. Dare to do what your heart desires so long as you don’t go out of your values and morals.

By Ambitious Val